Coughing Up To The Cop Out

I saw the movie Lincoln recently starring Daniel Day Lewis. It's a great film about Abraham Lincoln and the reason he pushed through the 13th Amendment to the United States constitution. Perhaps I am being arrogant (and it wouldn't be the first time I was being so) but it made me think that my fight for marriage equality is more important than ever.

I truly am tired of the complacent people who are fine with being friends with homosexuals, but show zero initiative in helping to fight for their rights.Simply saying that it should be left up to the states or that it will happen eventually is a cop out. That's right. A BIG, HUGE, CRAP LOAD OF COP OUT!

You see, that is their excuse that allows them to support candidates or bills that do not help their LGBT pals. It's what they tell themselves in order to get to sleep at night, I suppose. Being their pal is fine, I am sure. But how would they feel if their spouse was dying in the hospital and the law didn't allow them to be by his or her side? How would they feel if they spent most of their life dedicated to a spouse, and when that spouse died, they had zero say in funeral arrangements or assets or possessions or anything really?

But don't let me try to convince you. Let's hear the voices of a few of my LGBT friends who were kind enough to give their two cents about people who are happy to be their friends, but are complacent about their rights. And as you read these stories, keep in mind, they just might be people you know and love.

LGBT Pal #1:

 I am always taken aback by that because it clearly demonstrates that they don't take me--or our friendship--seriously. It also prompts me to tell them the story of losing my home and livelihood five years after my partner died because his cold-hearted bitch of a mother sued me for his half of everything. And with the lack of laws that would protect my interests, I had to sell our home and most of the stuff in it in order to pay her. As a result, my memories of him are forever clouded by his inaction and refusal to see his family for what they are: prejudiced and bigoted.

I firmly believe that if people who purport to care about me hear that story, they will understand why rights for people in same-sex relationships are essential and examples of basic human rights.

LGBT Pal #2:

I have friends who support candidates who go against gay rights and when I ask them about that, they often say something to the effect of, "Well, it's not that we don't support you, but we have to look out for our own best interests, and the Republican party aligns with our way of being fiscally conservative." I think that's a total cop out and speak up about it. I point out that by supporting Republican candidates, they're supporting people who are against equal rights. I don't want special rights, just equal rights. I want to be able to visit my partner in the hospital, I want the same tax rights, social security rights, the right to be legally married, and the list goes on and on. They often try to argue about Biblical principles, which is an even bigger cop out. I'm very spiritual, and there are hundreds of passages in the Bible that our society no longer lives by, but the right wing likes to pick and choose the scriptures that seem to condemn gays. It makes my blood boil. I have no patience with it, but I think many right wingers have formed opinions based on fear and ignorance. It's often a pointless cause to try and educate them because fear and ignorance build a wall around them.

LGBT Pal #3:

I think it’s easier for someone to say “Well I love YOU, but…” and then proceed to contradict that statement. This is because most people who believe this way have been taught that it’s okay to be homophobic or anti-gay....just don’t ever say it out loud.

How can you say you love and support me in one breath, and then tell me you don’t believe I deserve equal rights or treatment under the law? It’s a huge slap in the face. Most of them don’t get it.

I used this example with a friend not too long ago. She lives with diabetes, but at one point said to me that most people will never even give it a second thought. I turned this around and said “Okay. You know how you live with diabetes every day? That’s how it is for me. You might think about gay rights once in a blue moon, but I live it every single day.” While it’s not the best example, she finally began to understand that it’s not just something I choose to be a part of... it’s a fight every day for my life.

I have found myself in tears many times over the last two elections because of people in my life who, in my mind, just don’t get it. These are people who aren’t even vocalizing their opinions about gay marriage, but chose a side with their vote. While I know that the economy is important, I just don’t see how it can take precedent over the basic civil rights of the people in this country.

However, I think many people in the majority are hung up on the idea that gay people are somehow second-class citizens and thus deserve to be treated as such. It’s the very childish ideal of “We have these rights and privileges but we don’t want to share them with YOU because you’re icky.” It’s human nature to love power and control…and to me this is all just one big power play.

The biggest disappointment is comes from within my family. This is a group of people who have two openly gay relatives (myself and my aunt) and yet still do not believe that we deserve equal rights or protection under that law. Why? Because God says it’s wrong. That’s it. That’s the only reason anyone ever wants to give me.

What it really comes down to in this instance is the need for separation of church and state to be a REAL thing. Don’t get me wrong, I am Christian and I do believe in God, but I refuse to believe a book written by man thousands of years ago should be the social standard of what’s best for the people of this country in 2012. It’s an archaic, backwards way of thinking. If you want to live by Old Testament rules, go back to Old Testament times. The rest of us will continue evolving just fine without you.

LGBT Pal #4:

People who think "progress is just gonna happen eventually" while voting for candidates who want nothing but societal digression, are morons. Regardless of one's way of thinking. There's no such thing as a progressive conservative. The longer this country stays still, the more potential for growth it loses and the more it comes off as a cultural and intellectual wasteland. I'm sorry, but it's true.

And NOTHING regarding even the most basic rights of people should be left up to states. State governments are decided and controlled by the sheep. And yes, there are, and unfortunately always will be sheep. Sheep cannot make good decisions. Sheep cannot think outside themselves and their own interests. And allowing every slack-jawed hick and elementary school drop out to decide the rights of OTHER people is nothing short of criminal. The best example of this: the death penalty in Texas. Texas is the jewel on the Republican crown. Heaps of people are put down without any decent reason. Why? Because the hick dickfucks who are in charge and the oilmen who wanna play God make the decisions.

A BIG THANK YOU TO MY FRIENDS FOR SPEAKING OUT!

These are just the words of four fellow Americans who want equal rights. If you still want to deny these people their rights, then find another reason because the excuses are growing old and illogical. Showing your lack of concern by throwing out evasive diarrhea no longer holds water. Admit you care more for a political party than the rights of your friends and family. Thanks. 

How To Lose An Election

I was listening to NPR during my drive in to work like I do every morning and the discussion was over how the Republican party lost the Presidential election. A resounding agreement was that the GOP panders to white men over the age of 50 and has done a great job of alienating women, the LGBT community, minorities, and Americans younger than 30. Another point brought up was that it SEEMS Republicans only care for the wealthy and see the rest of Americans as moochers. They quoted Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity who said Obama supporters were just looking for a handout. These were members of the GOP citing these reasons. Some Republicans who called in said they were tired of GOP representatives being obstructionists while others said they leaned way to far to the right to be taken seriously. Perhaps it is time they finally take a long, hard look at themselves. And I hope they won't be proud of what they find.

I was jobless for nearly a year between 2009 and 2010. I never collected unemployment, was never late paying any of my bills and I voted for President Obama. Twice. So, if all of those who voted for Obama are a bunch of government moochers, I would like to know how I fall into that category. I don't have kids that go to school, I pay my taxes on time every year, and fall above the income level where I do indeed pay income tax. I am not Romney's so-called 47% and I still voted against him.

I guess what I am trying to say is that those of us who voted for President Obama are not evil deadbeats waiting for our next government handout. This nation is not going to crumble over the next four years under his leadership. It has never crumbled to the point of non-existence under any of our leaders, so what makes some believe its going to start now? Our nation has been in much worse shape and our economy IS slowly and surely recovering despite what FOX News will tell you. You can't unfix years of unchecked Dubya spending in 4 years. And you have to have both sides of the political aisle working together to get it done. So, if you want to complain about why its taking so long, point a finger to the GOP who has been unwilling to work with Democrats. Again, back to my first paragraph where Republicans admitted they were being obstructionists. Don't believe me? Let's use the GOP's own words against them. Minority Senate Leader Mitch McConnell said his number one goal was to make Obama a one term President four years ago. The goal wasn't to put Americans back to work or create new jobs or balance the budget or do ANY NUMBER of things for the American people. But his best interest wasn't the American people. It was creating political discourse. Now, just how did that help America?

How does it help America when corporation CEO's like Robert Murray punish the American people by laying off employees a day after the election. Murray laid off close to 200 people at Murray Energy citing a bogus "war on coal" by Obama. According to the Washington Post, "energy analysts say that the coal-mining business is suffering because of competition from low-cost natural gas and rising production costs of coal, especially in the Appalachian region." So, it's not Obama's fault these people are losing their jobs, but I suppose it's easier to blame the President than the actual competition stemming from free enterprise. 

I see online petitions flying around for states to secede. Well, I've got some news for you people. Do a little real homework and you'll learn that unless you live in the state of Texas, you can't secede. And losing Texas wouldn't be that big of a deal really. It's been a waste of red(neck) space for years. But, I have never cared for Texas, so that is my own prejudice rearing its ugly head. But seriously, besides pro-sports teams, what else does Texas have to offer? Traffic and strip malls. Where do I sign up? (ADDENDUM: It turns out that as a student in Texas, I was misinformed in my Texas history class and Texas cannot secede from the Union. So, chalk it up to Texas Public Schools. Gotta love a one-sided view of history for all!)

When Dubya won in 2000 and 2004, I wasn't upset. I was concerned. I didn't start throwing petitions around trying to get my home state to secede from the country. I honestly knew he wouldn't do a very good job and he didn't, but I didn't act like a sore loser and take to calling my Republican friends Facists and Nazis. You want further proof he was an unpopular President? He wasn't invited to the 2012 Republican National Convention and he was the last Republican to hold the Presidency. Romney intentionally separated himself from Dubya. And he was smart to do so.

I got off topic a bit here, but it seems to me that the GOP needs to stop alienating core groups of Americans if they want to win elections. They need to embrace the fact that the United States is evolving and things like gay marriage and global warming are real and will happen. They need to stop trivializing things like rape and supporting equality for women, minorities and the LGBT community. They need to pull away from the outrageous, ignorant, petty and sometimes racist agenda of the Tea Party. They need to stop clinging to the Christian religion as public law and forcing it on the American public.

In conclusion, I believe I have heard Ronald Reagan's name being brought up quite frequently since President Obama took office. The GOP lauds the days when he was President. Many Tea Partiers want to go back to the times when he was in office. Well, let's see, he supported a woman's right to choose, unions, infrastructure spending, tax hikes (and lots of them), corporate tax increases, the Brady Act, and amnesty for immigrants. Doesn't sound much like the Republican platform of today. But, when a platform reeks of the 1950's, then just about anything looks better than regression.

Responsibility in Responding

Alyssa Douglas is a 16-year-old Clarksville, Ohio high school student. She looks like a pretty girl. I would like to learn more about her, but her Twitter account has, not surprisingly, been taken down. Why is that?

Perhaps Miss Douglas was texting her boyfriend or applying lip gloss when the topic of the legality of threatening the President of the United States was brought up in her history or civics classes? Hell, I never paid attention in sophomore typing class because the guy that sat behind me had unbelievable blue eyes. Perhaps I got a little off topic, but Miss Douglas did not learn this behavior or mentality from her Ohio public school education that we all Americans helped pay for.

This behavior and mindset was taught by, more than likely, the girl's parents. I am not saying its completely their fault or doing. It could also be some deer-hunting, camo-wearing, misled boyfriend or a group of uneducated friends. Peer pressure sucks -- we were all teenagers once. You know, I thought Dubya was an arrogant dumbass, but I would have never dreamed of hurting him. SOMEONE is teaching Miss Douglas that kind of hate. And her hash tag adds fuel to the fire. But that little Tweet has gotten both the teenager and her parents into hot water. As expected, the Secret Service and FBI are both investigating.

And honestly, what makes President Obama so polarizing? I mean, his ideas aren't that radical. If you did real research you would know he wasn't a Muslim (which would be fine if he were) or a socialist (a practice we currently use in this country via public schools, the postal service, fire & law enforcement etc...) So, what is it? And I hate playing the race card, but that seems to be the only thing I can come up with. But many don't want to admit they are racists. However, they pass this hatred down or onto others, especially their children, who in turn Tweet illegally without any thought to their words or actions.

My friend, Eleni, points out that kids in public schools are taught to pass standardized tests, but not to think critically. I also believe that MANY children aren't raised to think for themselves.  I grew up with parents constantly telling me I CANNOT and SHOULD NOT think like them. People in this country would be better off if they had the ability to decide on their own what they believe in and not what their parents, elders, or uninformed influences tell them to believe. I mean, I knew a guy who was in his mid-20's and it took me explaining my parents "think for yourself" mentality that made him actually realize he COULD believe something else.

I know there are a lot of things broken in our public education system. And I am more than happy to voice my opinion about it because my money pays for it. I do not have kids, but if you do, I probably helped educate them. That being said, some people just cannot learn by reading books. My boyfriend is incredibly intelligent and he is one of those people. I didn't want to (or care to) read a book unless it told a good story. I remember being startled in one of my freshman college classes when a professor actually asked me what I thought of a topic we were discussing. I mean, I could not believe he actually cared what I thought after being told to shut up thousands of times in K-12th grade.

There are no solid answers or explanations as to what drives extreme hatred in a 16-year-old mind. School shootings come to mind. They are senseless. I mean, when I was 16, I hated the girl who made fun of my acne, but I never even joked about trying to kill her. It just wasn't in my mind's capacity to ever consider taking the life of another human being. And it still isn't. And maybe Miss Douglas was just angry she didn't make the volleyball team and was letting off steam. But what did President Obama do to her that was so terrible? My guess would be nothing.

I am aware parenting is not easy and I am also NOT saying don't raise your children in a Republican/Democrat, conservative/progressive household. Teach them the positive, loving values of those beliefs. But also give them the freedom to study and look beyond those teachings. Because no matter what, you aren't born with that level of hatred. It is a learned behavior. And who wants a 16-year-old child with that amount of irresponsible and uneducated venom in their heart and mind?

An Open Letter to Ann Coulter

Dear Ann:

As a fellow human being, woman and American, I have a few things I need to say to you. 

First of all, I have Tweeted some pretty nasty things since having my Twitter account over the past few years. In fact, some of my more repulsive ones have been flung in your direction. I believe I called you a stain on the underwear of America. But, in hindsight, I am not proud of those comments, but that is the kind of rhetoric you inspire. You fling your immature monkey poop and somehow, I feel the need to sink to your level. I am baffled by it myself.

In all honesty, if I were in your shoes, I don't think I would be so demonic. You are a well-known figure in American politics and instead of inspiring the female gender of this society, you repulse many of them. If you could back up your nasty words with solid facts and figures, perhaps you would at least earn some level of respect. However, you resort to elementary school level name-calling, bullying, and insults to give an already-dying conservative platform some credence. 

You are not dumb or lacking in the brain department. You have a JD from Michigan law and are better educated than I am. So, use that education for good and not for evil. You can fight for the side of Republicans and not act like a 16 year-old who didn't get elected prom queen. But the thing that gets me the most is you don't even want to fight for your own gender. In your column you said that women, specifically single women, are to "blame" for electing Democrats as President. "If we take away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat President.  It's sort of a pipe dream, a personal fantasy of mine."

In your studies as an undergraduate history student at Cornell, did you not study the 19th Amendment? Did you know women fought and died so you could have that right? Women were beaten and silenced simply because of their gender. Does that mean nothing to you? You would rather bow to the wishes of 50+ white men than support a woman's rights? Seriously, what is wrong with you?

You admit you like to stir up the pot. I get it. It's your act. It's your gimmick. In all honesty, you're not that good of an actor anyway. But there is more than one way to skin a cat and its just as easy to get people bent out of shape by using tact and fact than by lying and persecuting. You don't even have to be nice. But you will receive the respect a woman with your credentials deserves by being respectful and dignified. 

That being said, your comments about some of the families of the 9/11 victims were and are inexcusable. Just because they were criticizing your agenda doesn't mean you have to belittle the deaths of their loved ones. That would be like me saying your parents deserved to die because you are their child. Is that right? Is that Christ-like? As a native of Oklahoma City, I saw firsthand the impact an attack on American soil can take on friends and families of victims. Insulting them because they want the truth about the deaths of their loved ones puts you in the same esteem as those who actually committed the attacks in the first place. It is your right to say what you want and I will always fight for your right to say it. But even members of your own party have intentionally separated themselves from you. How bad does it have to get when people you agree with stop returning your calls?

Plus, the more outrageous your statements become, the less people are going to care. Most people I know (conservative or progressive) write you off as someone who is just shouting at the wind. Anymore, your opinion is a running joke for Democratic bloggers and late night talk show hosts. Don't you get it? YOU ARE A JOKE. Perhaps being more like, say, Rachel Maddow will allow you to be your usual mean self, but be able to gain a reputation with some level of regard? Rachel has said some cruel things, but she has every bit the reputation for being a smart fact-checker. Indeed, she has been caught stretching the truth. But you catapult over the line with outright lies and slander.

To conclude, you are a Christian. A woman who claims to be devout and God-fearing. If that is the case, why do you say any of those things at all? Didn't Jesus say to love one another? And do not Christian teachings urge you to live as he did? Did he not also say "Judge not lest ye be judged"? Refraining from lying is one of the ten commandments. Truthfully, you aren't doing a very good job as a Christian... especially when I have heard you say you put Jesus first in your life and in all you do. If you were just spouting lies again, then perhaps you shouldn't believe your own hype and duck back into obscurity? The world might be a better place if you did.

I wish you peace in your heart. I know it will be tough, but from one female human being American to another, I really do urge you to think before you open your trap.

Best, Angela
Nashville, TN